Getting into the real meat of this project really allowed me to deepen my passion for everything I was learning, which made it easy to get all my ideas and content out into a product I could present. However, the more I dove, I stumbled upon the realization that this project for me wasn’t so much finding out my person’s life story or all the critical events that happened in his life that made him eminent, but more of the philosophies and ideas that contributed to his progression to what person he is today.
I also was finding out the benefits and struggles of picking a more contemporary person to emulate. I think one thing that was actually starting worry me during the course of especially my speech writing, was that to really be able to convey what my person is all about, I would have to stray from the usual format of the examples and the speeches my fellow classmates were based around.
This, strangely enough, scared me.
Usually I’m one to be pretty confident in what I do. I don’t think I’ve ever actually been unconfident with anything I’ve ever done in terms of school work. So naturally, it made me feel pretty uneasy having to go through the phase of thinking, “I’m doing this whole project wrong, I have to scrap everything and start over, this is not at all what it’s supposed to look like, why can’t I do this?” Thankfully I in fact didn’t scrap everything I worked so hard on, but I actually wasn’t able to finish my speech writing until about 2 days before I was presenting. And even after finally finishing my speech, and having run through it a few times, I still couldn’t help but have this nagging in the back of my head telling me that something was wrong and that this wouldn’t cut it.
Sometimes it’s important to ignore that little voice in the back of your head, and consider actually listening to those around you. I had to deal with the unpleasant experience up until the moment (no not day, moment) I actually performed my speech; funnily enough all my anxieties melted away nearly instantly as soon as I began to speak.
I do think something else that contributed to my difficulties in writing my speech was the fact that it had to be concise while staying in the flamboyant and boisterous character I chose for my speech perspective. One of the goals in my IEP is making my writing more concise and to-the-point, and writing this speech definitely played with some of the concepts I was looking at in there.
I think before the speech in specific, I used to think that I always challenge myself in what I do, whether it be music, school work, etc. But it looks like I wasn’t actually challenging myself so much beyond my comfort zone that I could actually feel I was doing it. And it turns out that maybe going that extra step and actually feeling that little bit of stress to know you’re really, truly challenging yourself is a good way to explore more options in what you do and broaden your thinking.